This past September 24th, I was ordained to the permanent diaconate for 29 years. Man, 29 years! Myself and Dick Pashby are the remaining members of those ordained 29 years ago.
So much as changed from those early days of diaconal formation, both in the Church, in diaconal formation, and personally. Much of the change not good and, in my opinion very regressive and repressive, however, ministry to the “Greek widows and orphans,” has not changed and is as necessary as ever. As Fr Steve Adrian taught so succinctly to my class the first day of classes, “We don’t need any more male bodies in the sanctuaries of the Catholic Church. There are far too many as it is. The sanctuary of the deacon is not in a church building. It is at the gas station, in grocery stores, in the workplace, on the streets with people who are in need. These places are the sacred spaces for deacons.” The truth of deacons personifying Christ as Servant to those most in need is only more paramount today. We don’t need deacons running around in clerical dress. We need deacons who are one with the people they serve, dressed as the people whom they serve, and present to the people they served.
For our ordination, I composed a choral hymn for the ordination Mass, and a song for each deacon couple of my class. What follows are the songs I composed for them.
My class came from all different walks of life. We all varied in age, levels of education, and occupation. We were from the various communities, urban, rural, small town, and suburban that comprised the Archdiocese. Our varied backgrounds was a wonderful composite of those we would serve in our parishes and communities. We were all equal and united in serving those we encountered in our parishes and in our communities. We each had our own unique set of gifts that we shared with those we served.
I spent all free time I had during the summer months prior to ordination in composing these songs. In contrast to much of the later music I have composed, these songs are relatively short in length. You will notice that while I composed music for the 9 men and 8 women pictured, I didn’t compose one for Ruthie and I. I address that toward the end of this blog.
ABBA, YESHUA, RUAH
I composed this four part hymn for my ordination class. Abba is Aramaic for Father. Yeshua is Aramaic for Jesus. And, Ruah is Hebrew for Spirit. The hymn is Trinitarian and the text I wrote a summary of much about which we were taught over the three years of diaconal formation.
Abba, Abba
May we be dwellings of your holy love,
The love which you grace all below, above.
May we be dwellings of your holy peace,
The peace for which all souls thirst and seek.
You loved so much that you sent your Son,
Only in you can we live as one.
Dwell in us, Abba, so that all may feel,
The touch of your love, and your peace-filled will.
Yeshua, Yeshua
May we be servants of your Eternal Word,
Servants of your compassionate Word.
O may we seek you among the very least,
Inviting all to the Abba’s feast.
You loved so much that you gave your life.
You conquered our death so that we may rise
O loving Jesus, may our bodies be
Your living body for all to see.
Ruah, Ruah
O Holy Spirit, come and make us whole,
Enflame our hearts, our minds, our souls.
Inspire our actions, our fears relieve
So we may give to others what we received.
Vessel of hope on our world outpoured,
Your healing breath our lives restore.
Infuse our lives now with your holy gifts
So in you, source of love, we may always live.
Abba, Yeshua, Ruah.
I began writing the text for the song early in June, composed the melody, and scored the song for choir and organ the rest of the month. I presented it to my class and they approved the song. The music director for our ordination Mass was Dan Westmoreland, in my opinion, the finest music director in the Archdiocese. The choir was comprised of singers of all our parish choirs. In one huge rehearsal, Dan put together the wonderful music chosen for the ordination Mass. The recording above was from that ordination Mass. I dedicated the hymn to Trish Flannigan, who at that time was the executive secretary for diaconal formation and the deacon community. My class always thought of Trish as a member of our diaconal class.
Years later, I composed an instrumental version of the song for piano.
BY AND ELLEN RUDOLPHI
This was one of the first piano songs I composed. By and Ellen were good friends. I remember Ellen being treated for cancer during formation. She had some very tough bouts of chemo during that time, and we all hoped she would be alive when we were ordained. Surpise, surprise, she outlived many of my diaconal class. She beat cancer and essentially died having lived a long and loving life. By died on February 3, 2013, and Ellen died September 2, 2020.
JOHN MANGAN
John was the only bachelor in our class. I learned from John that was when he was in the Navy, and was on one of the naval ships in the naval blockade of Cuba during the Cuban Missile Crises, the closest we had gotten to World War III. John had aspired to be a priest, but circumstances in life prevented that from happening. He ministered to many of the Veterans at the State Veterans Home in South Minneapolis. As he got older, he joined those he served as a resident of the Home and died there on March 13, 2017.
TOM AND LUCILLE COLEMAN
Tom and Lucille were very down to earth people. They were very hardworking people, devoted to each other, to their family and to their parish. The death of their only daughter was a heavy burden they carried. When eventually they moved to a nursing home, they roomed together. Tom died on January 1 and Lucille died on January 29.
TOM AND MARGE SEMLAK
Tom and Marge lived around Lake Elmo, a suburb to the east of St Paul. They both worked at 3M. One of their daughters was a hair stylist which meant that they both were always well coiffed. Like all the couples in our class, they were extremely devoted to one another and equally devoted to their service to Pius X parish. Tom passed away on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, December 8, 2015, and Marge died on February 1, 2018.
DICK AND SANDY PASHBY
Dick and Sandy lived in Cottage Grove, a southeast suburb of St Paul. I think of all my classmates, Dick was the healthiest of all of us. He was very physically active. Sandy worked for a company that leased both living and business spaces. One of their sons, was a music major and a jazz saxophonist. Dick was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor, but his treatment seems to have managed the tumor. The last time I saw Dick and Sandy was at the funeral of Tom Semlak. Dick was vested as a deacon and in a wheelchair. We use to exchange Christmas cards every year. I haven’t heard from them in a couple of years.
BILL AND MARY BECKFELD
I believe that the one couple that Ruth and I were very close to was Bill and Mary. Both were very spiritual, progressive, and opinionated, just like me. Initially, Bill was very involved with those who were developmentally challenged. One of their sons had been developmentally disabled and died early in life. Their youngest son, Joe, came out as Gay, at which point Bill and Mary got involved in ministry to the LGBTQ+ community. Sadly, Joe later died from HIV.
Bill was a bit of bull in a China Shop. Mary use to regale us with stories about Bill. I believe he is still a wanted man by the Lord Mayor of London for damage done to a rental car while he was doing business there. He, apparently, had difficulty driving on the left side of the road, and returned the car minus all four doors. This was just one of many stories about Bill. He and Mary both spoke their minds. There was no pretense about either of them. Bill was the first person from my class to die after ordination. He died suddenly on February 27, 2001. We were all in shock by his death. Mary is still alive and I think living with one of her kids. The last time I saw Mary was at Marge Semlak’s funeral. Ruthie saw her at the wake of her oldest son, Tom. Bill requested that I play the song I composed for them at his first Mass. It was a great honor to do so.
DOMINIC AND HELEN EHRMANTRAUT
Dom and Helen were such a wonderful couple. I think they had twelve kids. They were both incredibly spiritual people but were also grounded in reality. Dom was such a gentle, kind, man. He is one of those deacons who would bend over backward to assist people. One of his specialties was a homemade distillery of cherry brandy, very tasty and powerful. Dom worked for the Star Tribune and later was an entrepeneur. Helen died on May 27, 2005. Ruthie and I were not aware of her death until long afterward. We both felt badly that we were not at her funeral. Dominic died on March 9, 2017. His kids told me that in his last year, his kindness and gentleness never left him even in dementia. I think the song I composed for them fit the kind of people they were, loving and gentle.
JERRY AND BARB CIRESI
Ruthie and I were close to Jerry and Barb. Both Ruthie and Barb were RNs and they both worked full time night shifts. Jerry was a successful lawyer and I guess he and I shared a similar cynical attitude toward institutions, whether they are legal or religious. As my good friend, Fr Kevin Clinton has pointed out, when you work a long time in the Church, you discover that there are 8 not 7 gifts of the Holy Spirit. The 8th gift is sarcasm. Both Barb and Jerry were strongly opinionated and forthright in speaking their minds. Jerry was deeply in love and devoted to his wife, Barb. He was a hardship for him when, in her dementia, she did not recognize him anymore. Barb died on December 31, 2018. Because Jerry was also a chaplain for the St Paul Police Department, many of those who belonged to the St Paul Police Department and Ramsey County Sheriff Department were present at Barb’s funeral. I made sure I was present at her funeral, too, and be a support for Jerry. The year following was hard for Jerry. Jerry was a big fan of Shania Twain, and one of the big things on his bucket list was to go to one of her concerts. His boys saw to it that Jerry was outfitted in Western gear and attended one of her shows. Jerry died on November 22, 2020. Because we were still under the pandemic lockdown, and vaccines were still being developed for Covid, I was unable to be at his funeral.
DR DOLORE ROCKERS OSF
I had a number of powerful professors in diaconal formation. When I was asked by the Archbishop which one had the greatest impact on my life, I instantly told the Archbishop, Dr. Dolore Rockers OSF. A psychiatrist and a religious sister, Dolore, in her Human Growth and Relations class was the one who formed me the most as a deacon. She taught me how to 1) listen and upon doing that 2) taught me how to communicate with others. Ruthie and I recorded 20 minute conversations on all sorts of topics to hand in to Dolore to evaluate my progress in communication. As a psychiatrist, she knew how what “buttons to push” to get me and all the other males in the class to effectively listen and communicate. She could be tough as nails with us. I remember Bill Beckfeld tried to take her on and she brought him to his knees. Bill, from that moment on, was her undying, big defender. What Dolore did not reveal to us during class was her own vulnerability. That was something she revealed at the close of that year. My class had such great respect and love for her, we considered her, as we did Trish Flannigan, a member of our class. The song, abover, for Dolore, I composed for her a year later as she took time off to take care and minister to her dying mother.
BOB AND RUTH WAGNER
So where is my song for Ruthie and I? I didn’t compose one for us. I was so busy that summer, composing music for everybody else that I didn’t have time to compose a song for Ruthie and I. As for Ruthie, I have composed over ten songs for her since we dated way back in high school. As for me, I prefer to compose music for others. But were I to choose songs for Ruthie and I, it would be these two songs.
This song I composed for Ruthie as a gift on her birthday. It is in my favorite meter 5/4 time. I think it reflects the beauty that radiates from her to everyone she meets.
As for me, I would choose this song.
Lux Aeterna for the Conversion of Human Hearts is so in tune with the ministry of the deacon, to care for those broken and forgotten by society and religion. In loving service to those who are broken, the world finds healing little by little. This tune exudes hope that this healing of human hearts and the world is just around the corner if only we obey what Jesus taught us, “Love one another as I have loved you.”
I hope you have enjoyed these musical memories of a very transformative day in the life of Ruthie and I 29 years ago.
