For as short as the month of February may be, it is a month that I find very difficult to get through. With the long winters in Minnesota, February is when cabin fever begins to kick in, and the cold, grey days of winter seem endless. To make it more difficult, it is a month where I grieve the loss of some very important people in my life, who have died in this month.
February 1st is the feast day of three people I know.
Donna Mae Kadrlik was an outstanding musician, director of music, educator, and colleague of mine at St Wenceslaus. She also was a spiritual director and worked with children suffering from loss. I assisted at her funeral. At the time, I was sick (some kind of flu/upper respiratory thing) but there was no way I was not going to be at her funeral (I made sure I did not distribute communion … no one needs the Body of Christ and an infection). St Wenceslaus seats about 900 people. The church was packed.
My brother Bill died on February 1st last year. Bill was my older brother. As a kid, I looked up to him. He helped me navigate my freshman year of high school. As what happens in all families, we both developed in our own ways. Bill moved away from Minnesota, and, toward the end of his life, moved back to Minnesota for 10 years. By that time, his health was going south, cigarettes and alcohol, taking its toll. For the last 2 years of his life, Bill moved back to Chicago where his family and friends were. When Bill died, I became the sole remaining member of our nuclear family (Mary died in 1997, Dad died in 2004, Mom died in 2018).
Marge Semlak, one of my diaconal family, died on February 1st as well. At the time that Tom died, Marge was looking pretty frail. She died a couple of years following Tom’s death. Marge was a woman of great class. She worked as one of the “higher-ups” at 3M in Maplewood for many years. Intelligent, kind, and compassionate, she was a good companion for Tom.
Here is the music I composed for Tom and Marge on the occasion of our ordination to the diaconate.
Deacon By Rudolphi died on February 3rd. I wondered at the time that By died why his funeral had not occurred shortly after his death. His funeral was the Friday of Easter Week, in April that year. By had been cremated and the family decided a great time, both in terms of weather and the liturgical year, would be during Easter Week.
By, or should I say Dr Rudolphi, was a man of great intellect and compassion. He dearly loved Ellen and was quite devoted to her. By, possessing a level headed way of approaching everything, including conflict, was one of those people you would consult for his wisdom and insight. What a wonderful man!
Here is the song I composed for By and Ellen when we were ordained in 1994.
Deacon Bill Beckfeld died on February 27. Bill was the first of our diaconal family who died. He suffered an aneurysm while he was preaching at a funeral and died a couple days later.
Bill was a bit of a bull in a China Shop. You always knew where you stood with Bill. Bill was a very opinionated, much like myself, and was an advocate for those most vulnerable. He was a church progressive like myself, eager to put his shoulder to the wheel and push this monolithic church of ours into the 21st century. In spite of his blusteriness, Bill’s heart was big and filled with compassion.
Here is the song I composed for Bill and Mary at our ordination in 1994. I remember playing it at Bill’s first Mass at St Bartholomew.
While it may sound like February is all doom and gloom for me, there is a bright lining to this month. It is also a time of life. Three of my grandchildren, Sydney, Ollie and Owen were born during this month. They are the source of great joy in my life and help me to balance the loss with happiness.
