In 42 years of church ministry, I discovered that many people die just prior to, on, and just after the Solemnity of Christmas. It was not at all unusual to preside at wake prayers on Christmas Day and have the funeral the day after Christmas. One year, I was personally involved in six funerals during the octave of Christmas.
How can this happen at Christmas?
Simply, death doesn’t take a holiday for anyone.
I have found that for those who are terminally ill, some often make it a point to reach a goal before dying e.g. an anniversary or a holiday. I remember a pastoral visit to a patient in the local hospital shortly after Labor Day. I knocked on the door and asked the woman if it were a good time to visit, and she answered it was okay. When I asked her how things were going, her reply was short and to the point, “Horseshit!” I asked her what was going on. She explained that her oncologist had just told her that her cancer was terminal and that she would not live to see the holidays. I asked her what holidays she wanted to make. She replied, “Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and Easter.” Through sheer will power she made each and every one of those holidays. When she got to Easter, she said that she was ready to let go, and died soon after.
Why do so many of our loved ones die in, on, or shortly after Christmas?In the end, I don’t know, but they do. In our world in which we want answers for everything, our lives and our deaths are encompassed by Mystery.
Within many of the more ancient Christmas carols, death is very much present. As one theologian once pointed out in a graduate school class in my past, Jesus was born so that he could die for us. At the time, I thought, “Dang, that must have sucked for Jesus.” But the theologian was spot on. Jesus was born so that he could die out of love for us, and in dying rise again from the dead so that we all may eternal life. In the familiar carol of the Holly and the Ivy, see how the death of Jesus is prefigured in the lyric.
The
holly and the ivy,
When they are both full grown,
Of all the trees that are in the wood,
The holly bears the crown.
The rising of the sun,
And the running of the deer,
The playing of the merry organ,
Sweet singing in the choir.
The holly bears a berry,
As sweet as any flower,
And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ,
To be our sweet savior.
The rising of the sun,
And the running of the deer,
The playing of the merry organ,
Sweet singing in the choir.
The holly bears a berry,
As red as any blood,
And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ,
For to do us sinners good.
The rising of the sun,
And the running of the deer,
The playing of the merry organ,
Sweet singing in the choir.
The holly bears a prickle,
As sharp as any thorn,
And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ,
On Christmas day in the morn’.
The rising of the sun,
And the running of the deer,
The playing of the merry organ,
Sweet singing in the choir.
The holly bears a bark,
As bitter as any gall,
And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ,
For to redeem us all.
The rising of the sun,
And the running of the deer,
The playing of the merry organ,
Sweet singing in the choir.
The playing of the merry organ,
Sweet singing in the choir.
My all time favorite Christmas carol, “Tomorrow Shall Be My Dancing Day,” is pretty blunt about this.
1. Tomorrow shall be my
dancing day;
I would my true love did so chance
To see the legend of my play,
To call my true love to my dance;
Chorus
Sing, oh! my love, oh!
my love, my love, my love,
This have I done for my true love1
2. Then was I born of a
virgin pure,2
Of her I took fleshly substance
Thus was I knit to man’s nature
To call my true love to my dance. Chorus
3. In a manger laid, and
wrapped I was
So very poor, this was my chance
Betwixt an ox and a silly poor ass
To call my true love to my dance. Chorus
4. Then afterwards
baptized I was;
The Holy Ghost on me did glance,
My Father’s voice heard from above,
To call my true love to my dance. Chorus
5. Into the desert I was
led,
Where I fasted without substance;
The Devil bade me make stones my bread,
To have me break my true love’s dance. Chorus
6. The Jews on me they
made great suit,
And with me made great variance,
Because they loved darkness rather than light,
To call my true love to my dance. Chorus
7. For thirty pence Judas me sold,
His covetousness for to advance:
Mark whom I kiss, the same do hold!
The same is he shall lead the dance. Chorus
8. Before Pilate the
Jews me brought,
Where Barabbas had deliverance;
They scourged me and set me at nought,
Judged me to die to lead the dance. Chorus
9. Then on the cross hanged I was,
Where a spear my heart did glance;
There issued forth both water and blood,
To call my true love to my dance. Chorus
10. Then down to hell I
took my way
For my true love’s deliverance,
And rose again on the third day,
Up to my true love and the dance. Chorus
11. Then up to heaven I did ascend,
Where now I dwell in sure substance
On the right hand of God, that man
May come unto the general dance. Chorus
NOTE: By the Jews, the carol does not target all Jews, but rather, as in John’s Gospel, “The Jews” means the Jewish religious authorities.
Paul writes in his letter to the Romans, these words:
Are you unaware that we who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were indeed buried with him through baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might live in newness of life. (Romans 6:3-4, New American Bible)
I doubt that many parents think of this as their infant is being baptized. I know that it never occurred to me at the baptism of my children. In baptizing our infants, we are baptizing them into the death of Jesus. What a thought at the beginning of human life. But that is what we are doing.
As we mourn our loved ones who die during this time of Christmas, the comfort we can take from their deaths is that in their dying they have born to new life everlasting. As was stated in the obituary of my good friend, Deacon Frank Asenbrenner who died on December 31st, “[He was] preceded in death and now reunited in the Kingdom of Heaven with Margaret, his loving wife of 52 years.”
Here are some of my friends and loved ones who have died during the Christmas season.
