As our 50th anniversary approaches ….

Ruth’s high school graduation photograph. Life was very controlled at St Bernard High School on Rice Street, St Paul back in 1969. Graduation photos were taken only by approved photographers. Note Ruthie’s hair length. The hair code at St Bernard’s dictated the length of hair for both females and males. In some ways it was a very repressive learning environment. On the other hand, with few choices, life was quite simple. So, while at school the girls wore their uniform skirts at a certain length, the minute they hit Rice Street, they would roll and pin the skirts way above the knee.

The 50th anniversary about which this post is about is NOT our wedding anniversary, but the anniversary of our first date, May 29, 1969. During the school week, Ruthie lived with her Uncle Harold and Aunt Ev on Marion Street, about 3 blocks from St Bernard’s. Every now and again, on the weekend, she would go home to the family farm in Scandia, Minnesota.

The weather that May 29th was very rainy and cool, much like the weather we have been experiencing of late. There were no real shopping malls at that time (the only one I knew was Har Mar Mall by my house). If you wanted to see a movie, you drove downtown St Paul.

I remember knocking on the door of her Aunt and Uncle’s house. She opened it and I was so taken by how beautiful she was. Her hair smelled of Herbal Essence. We drove downtown St Paul and went to see the movie, Charly, starring Cliff Robertson (previous to this film, he played John F Kennedy in the movie, PT 109). It was a good film, a bit bittersweet. And, no, I didn’t kiss her on the first date. I was just ecstatic taking her out on a date. After all, I was merely a junior in high school and she was a senior. I could not believe the incredible fortune I had in her saying yes to going out on a date with me. I didn’t want to do anything that would prevent future dates. I, also, had and to this day have only the greatest respect for her.

The poster for the movie. It was based on the book, “Flowers For Algernon.”

Here is the poem I wrote about that night.

FIRST DATE

Pouring down rain drenching the night
as I climb the steps to your home.
With one knock,
light from within greets me,
and there you stand,
the scent of herbal essence from your hair,
your brown eyes looking deep into my soul.
You bid farewell to your Aunt and Uncle,
open the screen door
and step outdoors.
The drenching rain suddenly
frozen in time
as your hand touches mine
and you laugh,
aware of the secret
I have hidden deep within.

Ruthie and I, a little bit later. She was no longer constrained by the hair code of St Bernard’s.

By July, I finally had the courage to kiss her for the first time. Her response could be summed up by the question, “What took you so long?”

FIRST KISS

You wonder why
it took so long
for my lips to brush
against your lips.
Like a young child
searching for words,
I lack the vocabulary
to communicate
my feelings for you.
It is not because
you are not appealing
nor a question of
my sexual preference.
Rather, it was
respect for the dignity
embodied within
your womanhood
that makes me hesitate
Aware of my lust for you,
who am I to sully
with my wanton desires
your beauty and integrity
knowing that once our lips touch
breached would be the dike
that long I took to build.
Little did I know
you were waiting
for that dike to crumble.
© 2011. The Book Of Ruth, by Robert Charles Wagner. All rights reserved.

Here is the first song I composed for Ruthie.

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Deacon Bob

I am a composer, performer, poet, educator, spiritual director, and permanent deacon of the Catholic Church. I just recently retired after 42 years of full-time ministry in the Catholic Church. I continue to serve in the Church part-time. I have been blessed to be united in marriage to my bride, Ruth, since 1974. I am father to four wonderful adult children, and grandfather to five equally wonderful grandchildren. In my lifetime, I have received a B.A. in Music (UST), M.A. in Pastoral Studies (St. Paul Seminary School of Divinity, UST), Certified Spiritual Director. Ordained to the Permanent Diaconate for the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis, in 1991. Composer, musician, author, poet, educator. The Gospels drive my political choices, hence, leading me toward a more liberal, other-centered politics rather than conservative politics. The great commandment of Jesus to love one another as he has loved us, as well as the criteria he gives in Matthew 25 by which we are to be judged at the end of time directs my actions and thoughts. View all posts by Deacon Bob

As our 50th anniversary approaches ….

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Deacon Bob

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