Psalm Offering 2 Opus 1

Bruce_Crandall's_UH-1D(Picture: November 1965, Major Bruce P. Crandall’s UH-1D helicopter climbs skyward after discharging a load of infantrymen on a search and destroy mission. Photograph in the Public Domain)

NOTES:  This Psalm Offering was written in 1971, when the Vietnam War, the war of my generation was still being fought. I was a Music Major in my Sophomore year at the College of St. Thomas at that time this was composed, and eligible for the draft. My draft status was 1-A. While I could have obtained a student deferment delaying my eligibility for the draft, I chose not to do so out of a feeling of solidarity with the men from my age group. As it ended up, Selective Service moved to a lottery system with random numbers assigned to dates of birth. The number for my birth date exceeded the number from which Selective Service drafted that year, moving my draft status from 1-A to 1-H (meaning if there was another World War III, I would be drafted). I never served in the Vietnam War, but knew many and worked with many who did. For those who served in combat, their tour of duty “In Country” was for one year. However, that one year serving in Vietnam continues to haunt and possess their souls, many men never recovering from the experiences of what they did, what they saw, and what happened to the people with whom they served and the people whom they fought. Pope John Paul II in condemning the invasion of Iraq by the United States issued this stern warning to our nation, “War is ALWAYS a defeat for humanity!” No one wins, all who participate in war end up broken. In the three years I ministered at St. Stephen’s in South Minneapolis, many of the homeless we served in the homeless shelter were former Vietnam War veterans, still broken psychologically from what they experienced in combat 40 years earlier. It is to all the men and women broken by that war that this Psalm Offering is dedicated.

THE MUSIC:  The Psalm Offering is in three part, ABA, form. Melody A begins with the tempo marking Lento con dolente, which literally mean slowly and mournfully, introducing the musical motif of war. Melody B is a little faster and more animated moving from a minor key area to a major key area. The dance like quality of melody B moving to a minor key as melody A is restated at the faster tempo, expresses the dance of the young going off to war, filled with war’s propagandized glory, unaware of their own mortality. Then mournfully as the tempo slows down to the original speed with melody A in octaves in the higher register and ponderous octaves in the lower register of the piano, the true nature of war, death and destruction, reveals itself and imprints itself on the young souls in combat. The Psalm Offering ends with a mournful sounding chord, tolling like a church bell that gradually chimes softer and softer.

LOVING IMPERFECTLY

DCP_0716The other day, as I was preparing for a Word and Communion service at the local nursing home, I stopped off at church to get the consecrated hosts for the service. I routinely loaded the hosts up into the ciborium I use for these services, counting out 60 hosts. I reverenced the tabernacle as I closed it, and as I did so I suddenly became very aware of Christ’s perfect love for me, and how imperfectly I love Christ in return. Audibly, I prayed, “Thank you Jesus for loving me so perfectly. Please know that I love you so very much, even though I love you so imperfectly.”

To be loved so perfectly by God, only to know how imperfectly I love God in return, is very humbling. Yet, it is also a great comfort. As I get older I have found comfort in the God that I use to fear as a child.

The Catholicism I was taught as a child emphasized how severe the consequences were of not following strictly the letter of the law. God was an exact and vindictive Deity, swift to judge, and judge severely. The words, “Lord have mercy,” were more a plea to not be condemned to everlasting damnation and was reflected in the wording of  Tridentine Canon (Eucharistic Prayer) of the Mass.

In this Year of Mercy, proclaimed by Pope Francis 1, we encounter not the God who notes down all of our transgressions, but the God who loves us, and our imperfections, perfectly . The context of mercy is no longer a plea to be saved from condemnation, but a word indicative of the overwhelming love and mercy of God. I follow Jesus because I have come to fully realize that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life; the pathway to eternal love.

This Year of Mercy negates all the superfluous embellishments people attach to prayer and religious practices in order to bargain or buy their way into heaven. The overwhelming Mercy of God strips away the false intentions that people attach to such things as indulgences or praying certain prayers on certain days of the month to assure them eternal life. As the Psalmist writes in Psalm 51, “For in sacrifice you take no delight, burnt offering from me you would refuse, my sacrifice, a contrite spirit. A humbled, contrite heart you will not spurn.”

It is out of this well of gratitude that I humbly follow Jesus, like Zacchaeus, imperfectly the rest of my life. I may love God imperfectly, but I am comforted and delighted that God, nonetheless, loves me perfectly.

(picture from the Holy Spirit Retreat Center in Janesville, MN. (c) 2004 by Deacon Bob Wagner OFS)

Connecting Our Life’s Story With Jesus – Homily for the 2nd Sunday in Ordinary Time

Giotto_-_Scrovegni_-_-24-_-_Marriage_at_Cana

Painting, “The Wedding At Cana”, Giotto, 14th century.

Stories are very important in our lives. Stories impact our lives, whether they are in book form, in audio form, or in visual form like television or movies. We can travel to faraway places, experience different cultures, experience the world in the past, meet historical men and women, and dream of what might be in the future all through story. Stories can impact our emotions. My dad use to tell the story of coming home from school to find my grandmother all upset about the injustices heaped upon some poor woman, only to find that that poor woman was a character on one of my grandmother’s favorite radio soap operas. Stories can entertain and relax us. Ruthie use to unwind after working nights by climbing into a hot bath with a Harlequin Romance. How many of us were thrilled to be taken away to the imaginary world of Hogwarts with Harry Potter, Hermoine Granger, Ron Weasley and Professor Dumbledore?

Stories are so important that I would go so far to say that they are essential to our lives as human beings. Are not the stories which we share and to which we listen around the table at Christmas and Thanksgiving, at family reunions, weddings, and funerals important to us? It is these family stories that assist us in figuring out who we are as individuals and as people within the family. Of all the stories we know in our lives, the most important and essential story for us to hear and to know is the story told around this table (indicate the altar), the story of our Church family, that is, the story of Jesus of Nazareth.

The four Gospels are all about how the story of Jesus has interacted and connected with the life stories of the people in the faith communities who wrote the Gospels. In reading and listening to the stories of Jesus in the Gospels, we find there are some stories that were so important that all four Gospels tell them, the most important one of all, the passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus. And there are some stories that are important in one Gospel but are slightly different in another, or may not even be present in other Gospels. What all four Gospels share is how strongly the story of Jesus impacted the life stories of the people in those faith communities, and how strongly those stories continue to impact our own life story.

Today we hear the story of Jesus at the wedding in Cana. If this story was just about Jesus turning gallons upon gallons of water into finest of all wine, it would be a remarkable story. However, what makes this story even more incredible is that at this wedding in Cana, Jesus, in a very public way, openly connects the story of his life with the story of all human lives, yours and mine included. At the wedding in Cana, Jesus announces to all who will listen that that for which humanity longed so much, the coming of the Messiah to save all people, has arrived. It is as if Jesus was telling the people of his time, “I am the Son of God and I am here to share my life with your lives. I am here to share in your sorrows and in your joys. I am here to be present to you during the dark times of your lives, and during the good times of your lives. I am here to give you happiness beyond all of your dreams if only you will connect your lives with mine.”

How important is the story of Jesus for us? I must confess that when I was young, it wasn’t on the top list of important stories for me. However, I remember very distinctly that first moment when my story and that of God interacted very strongly. It was at the moment when my first child was born. I was 22 years old, standing behind the doctor watching as the head and then the body of my son, Andy, emerged from Ruthie’s womb. It was at that very moment that I felt the presence of God in that delivery room. God’s presence was so strong and so filled the room that had I lifted my hand, I swear I would have touched the face of God. It was my Moses encountering the burning bush, St. Paul encountering Jesus on the road to Damascus moment of conversion. As I continued to reflect on my life from that moment on, I found that the presence of God intersecting with my life was not just an isolated occurrence but something that had been happening all along. I just was too self-focused or distracted to notice it happening.

When we are young we are so busy trying to discover just who we are, feeling the need for independence, that it is easy to miss or overlook the times that Jesus has entered into our life’ story. As adults, we are so busy or distracted by all the things we have to do to raise a family or to thrive and perhaps just survive, that we can miss or overlook the times that the story of Jesus has encountered our lives. There are two simple ways by which we can see the presence of Jesus in the story of our lives.

As I did following the birth of Andy, we need to find a time to quietly reflect on our life’s story from the time we were born to where we find ourselves now. While we may not have had the Cana experience of water being turned into wine moments anywhere along that continuum of time, look for the important events and the people that have been significant in our lives. As we deeply reflect on those events and people in our life, we will find the presence of Jesus there participating through those people or in those events in some way.

The second way is that at the end of each day before falling asleep, let us think about our day. Jesus Christ was present to us throughout the day. In the people and the events of the day, where did we encounter Jesus? Did we recognize Jesus and participate in his presence, or did we walk away and ignore his presence? Before falling asleep, using our own words, let us pray to Jesus that our five senses will be more open to his presence, inviting him to share his life more deeply with that of ours when we awaken in the morning and head out into the new day.

Stories are very important in our lives. Stories impact our lives, whether they are in book form, in audio form, or in visual form like television or movies. We can travel to faraway places, experience different cultures, experience the world in the past, meet historical men and women, and dream of what might be in the future all through story. My dad use to tell the story of coming home from school to find my grandmother all upset about the injustices heaped upon some poor woman, only to find that that poor woman was a character on one of my grandmother’s favorite radio soap operas. Stories can entertain and relax us. Ruthie use to unwind after working nights by climbing into a hot bath with a Harlequin Romance. How many of us thrilled to be taken away to the imaginary world of Hogwarts with Harry Potter, Hermoine Granger, Ron Weasley and Professor Dumbledore?

Stories are so important that I would go so far to say that they are essential to our lives as human beings. Are not the stories which we share and to which we listen around the table at Christmas and Thanksgiving, at family reunions, weddings, and funerals important to us? It is these family stories that assist us in figuring out who we are as individuals and as people within the family. Of all the stories we know in our lives, the most important and essential story for us to hear and to know is the story told around this table (indicate the altar), the story of our Church family, that is, the story of Jesus of Nazareth.

The four Gospels are all about how the story of Jesus has interacted and connected with the life stories of the people in the faith communities who wrote the Gospels. In reading and listening to the stories of Jesus in the Gospels, we find there are some stories that were so important that all four Gospels tell them, the most important one of all, the passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus. And there are some stories that are important in one Gospel but are slightly different in another, or may not even be present in other Gospels. What all four Gospels share is how strongly the story of Jesus impacted the life stories of the people in those faith communities, and how strongly those stories continue to impact our own life story.

Today we hear the story of Jesus at the wedding in Cana. If this story was just about Jesus turning gallons upon gallons of water into finest of all wine, it would be a remarkable story. However, what makes this story even more incredible is that at this wedding in Cana, Jesus, in a very public way, openly connects the story of his life with the story of all human lives, yours and mine included. At the wedding in Cana, Jesus announces to all who will listen that that for which humanity longed so much, the coming of the Messiah to save all people, has arrived. It is as if Jesus was telling the people of his time, “I am the Son of God and I am here to share my life with your lives. I am here to share in your sorrows and in your joys. I am here to be present to you during the dark times of your lives, and during the good times of your lives. I am here to give you happiness beyond all of your dreams if only you will connect your lives with mine.”

How important is the story of Jesus for us? I must confess that when I was young, it wasn’t on the top list of important stories for me. However, I remember very distinctly that first moment when my story and that of God interacted very strongly. It was at the moment when my first child was born. I was 22 years old, standing behind the doctor watching as the head and then the body of my son, Andy, emerged from Ruthie’s womb. It was at that very moment that I felt the presence of God in that delivery room. God’s presence was so strong and so filled the room that had I lifted my hand, I swear I would have touched the face of God. It was my Moses encountering the burning bush, St. Paul encountering Jesus on the road to Damascus moment of conversion. As I continued to reflect on my life from that moment on, I found that the presence of God intersecting with my life was not just an isolated occurrence but something that had been happening all along. I just was too self-focused or distracted to notice it happening.

When we are young we are so busy trying to discover just who we are, feeling the need for independence, that it is easy to miss or overlook the times that Jesus has entered into our life’ story. As adults, we are so busy or distracted by all the things we have to do to raise a family or to thrive and perhaps just survive, that we can miss or overlook the times that the story of Jesus has encountered our lives. There are two simple ways by which we can see the presence of Jesus in the story of our lives.

As I did following the birth of Andy, we need to find a time to quietly reflect on our life’s story from the time we were born to where we find ourselves now. While we may not have had the Cana experience of water being turned into wine moments anywhere along that continuum of time, look for the important events and the people that have been significant in our lives. As we deeply reflect on those events and people in our life, we will find the presence of Jesus there participating through those people or in those events in some way.

The second way is that at the end of each day before falling asleep, let us think about our day. Jesus Christ was present to us throughout the day. In the people and the events of the day, where did we encounter Jesus? Did we recognize Jesus and participate in his presence, or did we walk away and ignore his presence? Before falling asleep, using our own words, let us pray to Jesus that our five senses will be more open to his presence, inviting him to share his life more deeply with that of ours when we awaken in the morning and head out into the new day.

Just as Jesus was willing to share his life with the people at that wedding in Cana, so Jesus wants to share his life with us today. Let us invite Jesus to share his story with ours. Let us be willing to share and connect our life’s story with that of his. I invite you to open your hymnal to #651, and together let us prayerfully sing  “Open My Eyes.”

Just as Jesus was willing to share his life with the people at that wedding in Cana, so Jesus wants to share his life with us today. Let us invite Jesus to share his story with ours. Let us be willing to share and connect our life’s story with that of his. I invite you to open your hymnal to #651, and together let us prayerfully sing  “Open My Eyes.”

Open my eyes, Lord. Help me to see your face. Open my eyes, Lord. Help me to see.

Open my ears, Lord, Help me to hear your voice. Open my ears, Lord, Help me to hear.

Open my heart, Lord, Help me to love like you. Open my heart, Lord, Help me to love.

I live within you, Deep in your heart, O Love, I live within you, Rest now in me.

Psalm Offering 1 Opus 1 for piano

Ruthie and I at one of the recitalsdad

Psalm 1 Opus 1 was written in 1972 for my Dad. My Dad is the closest I have come to knowing a saint. A man of compassion, a man of service, a man of intelligence and a man of courage who lived his faith to the fullest.

While this is not the first composition I wrote, it is pretty close to being the first. It is written in simple ABA form. I was flirting with music from the Romantic Period at the time. The composer, Frederick Chopin was the main musical influence behind this comopostin.

The picture on the left is me and Ruthie around the time this music was written. I was an undergraduate at the College of St. Thomas, majoring in music. The picture on the right is of my Dad.

Psalm Offering 1 Opus 2 for piano

Gene Scapanski MAPS 1981

Psalm Offering 1 Opus 1 was written for Dr. Gene Scapanski. Gene was the director of the Masters In Pastoral Studies graduate program in the St. Paul School of Divinity at the University of St. Thomas. Gene encouraged me to pursue a Masters Degree in Pastoral Studies. I am so grateful to him that I did. He was able to see in me something I was not able to see.

Gene is pictured on the left. The picture on the right is of the graduate students and faculty in the MAPS program.

The composer, Paul Hindemith, was the inspiration behind this composition. It is in two part form, AB, AB, closing with a restatement of the A melody.

Psalm Offering 2 Opus 2 for piano

My kids, my legacy, 2013Meg, Luke, Beth, and Andy 1984

Psalm Offering 2 Opus was written for my children, Andy Luke Meg and Beth back in 1985. Andy was 10 years old, Luke was 8 years old, Meg was 4 years old, and Beth was 1 years old. My kids have always been my greatest legacy. The two photos posted are of my kids about 22 years apart.

As for the music, it is based on some music sketches from 1973 that I composed and revised into 1985. The form of the music is in three part form, ABA. The A melody is stated twice followed by the introduction of the B melody. There is a bridge followed by a development of the B melody that segues back into the A melody. It is written more in the manner of the Romantic period of music.

All The Ends Of The Earth – Christmas Psalm

Since the feast of the Baptism of the Lord ends the Christmas Season and ushers in Ordinary Time, I thought it would best honor the feast with this setting of Psalm 98, one of the common Christmas Psalms. The first recording is a rather primitive one done with the Guitar Group at St. Hubert. The second recording is what it would be like if it were sung today, with flutes and handbells added to the score. The choir in the second is what I call the Our Lady of CGI music ministry. When you do not have a choir, you make do with what you can get from a computer program. This musical setting of Psalm 98 was written in 1985 for the choirs at St. Hubert, in Chanhassen, MN. The text of the psalm is below.

. ALL THE ENDS OF THE EARTH – Christmas Psalm
(Psalm 98)
Refrain:
All the ends of the earth have seen
The saving power of God.
All the ends of the earth have seen
The saving power of God.

Verse One:
Sing to the LORD a new song,
For he has done wondrous deeds;
His right hand has won vict’ry for him
His holy arm. (refrain)

Verse Two:
The LORD has made his salvation known;
In the sight of the nations he has revealed his justice.
He has remembered his kindness and his faithfulness
Toward the house of Israel, the house of Israel.
(refrain)

Verse Three:
All the ends of the earth have seen
The salvation of our God.
Sing joyfully to the LORD all you lands
Break into song, sing praise. (refrain)

Verse Four:
Sing praise to the LORD with the harp,
With the harp and melodious song,
With the sound of the trumpet and horn,
Sing joyfully before the King, the Lord (refrain)

Psalm Offering 3 Opus 2 for piano

This Psalm Offering was composed in 1985 to commemorate the baptism of my godson, Jordan.

Musically, this Psalm Offering is a neo-Romantic period piece. The chromatic passages very Chopinesque. The structure of the music is in two part form, specifically, AB, bridge, a development of the A melody, and two variations on the B melody before the ending.

Abba, Yeshua, Ruah – choral music

more pictures 012deacon bob ordination class (2)

Abba, Yeshua, Ruah is a choral piece I wrote for my diaconal ordination on September 24, 1994. Abba is Aramaic for Father, Yeshua is Aramaic for Jesus, and Ruah is Hebrew for Spirit. The recording is captured from the VHS tape from the ordination. This music is dedicated to Trish Flannigan, who was the administrative assistant/secretary for the Permanent Diaconate at the time I was in diaconal formation. Though never ordained, she remains the finest deacon of us all. The text for the music is below.

Abba, Abba,
May we be dwellings of your holy love,
The love which you grace all below, above.
May we be dwellings of your holy peace,
The peace for which all souls thirst and seek.
You loved so much that you sent your Son,
Only in you can we live as one.
Dwell in us Father, so that all may feel
The touch of your love and your peace-filled will.

Yeshua, Yeshua,
May we be servants of You, Holy Word,
Servants of you, compassionate Lord.
O may we seek you among the very least,
Inviting all to the Father’s feast.
You loved so much that you gave your life,
You conquered our death so that we may rise.
O loving Jesus, may our bodies be
You living Body for all to see.

Ruah, Ruah,
O Holy Spirit, come and make us whole,
Enflame our hearts, our minds, our souls,
Inspire our actions, our fears relieve,
So we may give to others what we receive.
Vessel of hope on our world outpoured,
Your healing breath our lives restore,
Infuse our lives now with your holy gifts,
So in you, source of love, we may always live.

Abba, Yeshua, Ruah.

A Search for Self – a Journey into Mystery or why all this music on this blog?

deacon bob camp foley (3)I believe we spend our lives trying to discover our true selves. This is beautifully expressed in Psalm 139, prayed most often in the Evening Prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours. We want to know our selves as God knew them when we were created in our mothers’ wombs.

From the time I was in 3rd grade (about the time this photograph was taken of me at camp), when I first sat down at a piano, I knew my life revolved around music. By the time I reached my 12th birthday, I knew that my life’s purpose was composing music. Against the advice of my high school counselor, I continued to pursue music as my major in college, and though there were many more talented and skilled musicians around me, I held my own among them. It was not my chief purpose to be a music educator or performer, however, those occupations did put bread on the table and have helped to provide for my family. And, so, I wrote music. I have written a lot of music. Any of it published? No. I have never really pursued publication. I wrote for the sheer joy of writing music. Is any of the music worthy of publication? I believe some of it might have some promise in that area.

So why all this music now? While I was laid up recovering from a fall I had in late summer, I could only really sit at the dining room table. So I started to look over all the music I had written and began painstakingly transcribing it to a digital format on my computer. Were someone to ask me who are you? I would tell them to listen to the music I wrote, particularly the piano music. It is within this music that my true self is found. The greatest benefit of that fall which forced me into this endeavor was a rediscovery of myself, that person whom God named while I was being created in my mother’s womb.

There is a great overreaching arch that stretches from the point of our birth to the point of our death. Throughout that arch I have found my life revolving around music, my beloved Ruth, and the Church. As I am on the downward side of the arch I have reencountered my self as composer of music. In all the transcribing I have done and continue to do, I am rediscovering my self, where I began and where I am today. And when the transcribing is completed, I will pick up where I left off and continue to compose music, just like I intended to do when I first sat down at a piano keyboard in 3rd grade.